Of the many unattractive traits I possess, one of the biggest offenders is my judginess. I am at least self-aware enough to know I have this problem, but that hasn’t kept me from continuing to pass judgement on basically everything.
It goes both ways. I used to think I’d outgrown my perfectionism, but the reality is I’ve just shed some of the more attractive and superficial aspects: my bed is generally unmade now, and my sock and underwear drawer is a disaster, but my inner critic still takes me to task about these things when it’s not smothered by doomscrolling or ice cream. That is to say, I judge everybody, but I reserve the highest standards for myself. Failing to live up to my expectations is the norm. I assure you that I am properly castigated when this happens.
One of the new items that I have started passing judgement on is the disability rearview mirror hanger. (I am actually unsure what this is called. I refer to the blue tag thing that hangs on the rearview mirror to signal that is ok for you to park in a handicap parking zone.) I feel qualified to do this because I am now the possessor of one of these hangers. And wow has it provided a lot of opportunity to judge!
First, the instructions that come with this hanger clearly state that it is only supposed to hang on the rearview mirror when you are parked. A lot of people violate this rule. I can’t say that this is any more dangerous than displaying the seemingly-no-longer-as-popular-as-they-once-were fuzzy dice, but when you’re aware this is against the rules it is hard not to mentally eye-roll every time I pass someone driving with the blue tag hanging from their mirror.
Second, seemingly a lot of people use the handicap designation who do not actually qualify for it. I completed handicap parking forms for several patients in residency, and I truly believe everyone I completed it for had a legitimate reason for it. Once I even gently declined to do so by reading the specifications and asking my patient if he thought he met them. (Thankfully, he agreed with my assessment and said he didn’t.) Apparently a lot of PCPs aren’t as careful as I was. One possible explanation could be they don’t want to fill out the forms over and over. My PCP submitted for a “permanent” handicap parking permit for me. I’m hoping the disability isn’t going to last more than two years, and theoretically it could resolve itself any time. Perhaps a lot of people get the permanent permit and then continue to use it when they are no longer disabled. (If that’s the case, then I have even more to judge them on!)
My mother-in-law has a handicap parking permit (egads! that’s what it’s called!) that she uses on occasion and I still haven’t figured out why she has it. My husband says it’s because she has a bad leg, but she doesn’t use any assistive devices and although she’s slow moving I’ve never seen her have any trouble getting around other than being out of shape. The alternative explanation is that my father-in-law can’t see, but given that he still drives and a handicap parking spot is for parking, not driving, it makes even less sense. You can bet I judge them on it.
My most recent judgement episode occurred at church, because of course it did. Our church is well attended, which means that it has a parking problem. Unfortunately for me, people with disabilities, or at least handicap parking permits, attend church, and the spots are almost always taken before we arrive. (Admittedly, we’re almost always a minute early, which is to say, late.) Last Sunday, I observed a family of four get into an SUV parked in one of the prime handicap parking spots. To be sure, two of the adults looked to be in their sixties or early seventies, but none of them seemed to be having any trouble walking to their car as I self-righteously hobbled up the steps to the non-handicap parking section where we’d lucked into finding a spot several rows farther back.
Are you sick of me yet?
Whooo boy. I need to stop judging my “disability” against other peoples’ disabilities before it’s too late. When I start comparing myself to others and taking pride in a positive self-assessment, I’m a loser, not a gainer. I’m not strong enough to handle the original sin, and it’s certainly not part of God’s plan for an abundant life. Beyond that, of anybody surely I should understand that there can be more going on on the inside than what we can see on the outside. Now, it seems fairly obvious that some people don’t need their handicap parking permit, but can I truly say that? Do I know what would happen if they had to walk up the stairs, or on uneven ground, or another fifty feet? No. (Unless this is regarding my in-laws. They would be fine.)
Thank God, I am not the one who determines if people are righteously using their handicap parking permit or not. I am responsible for righteously using my own handicap permit, and my master can judge the rest of his servants.
SDG