I think about money a lot. I’ve read articles with stats saying that poor people think/stress about money more than anyone else, what with having to creatively come up with ways to pay the bills and etc. I am squarely in the upper middle/rich category, but it kinda feels like thinking about money is a hobby. A boring one.
My husband, on the other hand, seems to think about money hardly at all. Part of this may be his disdain for math or numbers in general (unless they happen to be measurements for his woodworking projects… and even then he seems to find them tedious). Part of it may be that his family didn’t engage in long-term financial planning as he grew up. Whatever the reason, for my husband, money talk is a boring and painful chore that he’d prefer to avoid.
He loves me, however, and so agreed to my request/demand for a “Financial Friday” every month, where we talk about our financial situation and strategize about short and long-term goals. I’ve tried to sweeten the deal with take out, with limited success. Initially, our money dates mostly consisted of me explaining a detailed spreadsheet containing meticulously compiled inflows and outflows with cells containing our savings targets. My husband played along, but Excel makes his eyes glaze over.
Overall, it felt lonely. My husband was supportive, but despite politely listening to my explanations didn’t seem to have a meaningful understanding of what was going on. Even worse, at times I felt like the budget police, telling him how much or how little he could spend in a particular category.
To solve this problem, I did something past me would never have imagined doing: I paid for a budgeting app. And after using it for the past five months, I plan to continue to do so.
There are lots of apps available, but the one we use is called YNAB. (It used to stand for You Need A Budget, but this has now gone the way of the erstwhile Young Men’s Christian Association.) We each have the app on our phone, which allows us to see the available amount in each category and enter in expenses as they come up. (I am better at doing this than my husband, but he participates.) More revolutionary, each category has a green bar than depletes as money is spent, which is incredibly helpful for his visual mind. As a numbers gal, I couldn’t care less, but it allows him to stay focused during our finance talks instead of unconsciously checking out.
As a result, we actually spend less time discussing our finances on Financial Fridays, because I have less to explain and he understands it better. I feel like I’m not doing all the work because he’s more involved in the day-to-day stuff, and his contributions to our conversations are more informed because he understands it better. I still think about money a lot, but I fret about it a little less.
SDG