
Everyone should have advance directives. Advance directives specify what kind of medical care you would want in the event you are unable to express a decision. Ideally, these should be written down, along with your designation for medical power of attorney (POA) – the person who would make decisions on your behalf if you can’t make them yourself. If you don’t want your closest relative (spouse, child or parent) to make decisions for you, then a document naming medical POA is essential.
Perhaps just as important is talking with the person who would be your medical POA so they know what you would want. Ideally, if your medical POA is making decisions on your behalf, it should feel relatively easy for them because they already know what you want – they are just relaying the message to the medical team.
Advance directives usually have a question about code status, about what you would want if you were expected to be permanently unconscious, or have an incurable and rapidly progressive medical condition that will result in death. Usually they ask if you would want tube feeding for nutrition if you can’t eat. They might ask how you would like your pain controlled, and if you want your organs donated if possible.
One thing to note is that as humans, we aren’t the best at predicting what we will or won’t be ok with in the future. There is a principle called hedonic adaption that says that we tend to get used to nice things pretty quickly. For instance, in medical school I had the Lasik procedure. In the days that followed (after the sand-in-the-eye feeling went away), it was amazing! No need to put on glasses or deal with contacts! Everything clear! But pretty quickly it became normal.
Now, maybe every few months I remember that my eyes didn’t used to see 20/20 and I feel a wave of gratitude, and yes, the irritation of dealing with foggy lenses or a misplaced contact doesn’t happen any more, but I can’t say that I’m particularly happier than I was before I got Lasik. My body got upgraded, and my expectations upgraded as well.
Fortunately, the same thing can happen when our bodies downgrade. Studies show that people are able to adapt to their misfortunes. Again, I’ve experienced some of this myself. With my current hip problems, I can’t go on a casual walk or participate in a lot of fun activities. This has definitely been frustrating and life-altering and I know I’m missing out on things, but am I sad about this all the time? Nope. I don’t think my happiness level is hugely different. If I was miraculously healed and back to my “normal” self, I could see myself being a lot happier – for a week or two, maybe a month. At that point I suspect I would have adapted to my new reality.
SDG
